always chew your food before swallowing it

Yesterday, September 5, 2013, was my 62nd birthday. I spent the day at home writing, as I usually do. Berni had a half-day at work so I picked her up and we farted around during the afternoon. Later, our friend Michael took us out for dinner to the Peking, a nice Chinese restaurant in Bellevue. There I had a first: while babbling with the two of them, I swallowed a piece of chicken without chewing it. The nicely rounded piece lodged itself in my throat and I couldn’t get it out.

So, for the first time in my life, someone (Michael) had to stand behind me, bear hug me around the chest, and yank. Out came the piece of chicken and back to dinner we went. Which brings me to this ages old joke:

A cowboy was sitting in a restaurant with three other men discussing a business deal involving his ranch. The four men were interrupted by an attractive woman sitting at the table next to them who had obviously swallowed a large piece of food and had it stuck in her throat.

As she stood up to try to cough it out, the cowboy got out of his chair and quickly stepped behind her. He got down on his knees, lifted the woman’s dress, pulled down her panties, and quickly ran his tongue up her backside. The woman was so startled by this that she coughed up the piece of food.

The cowboy held her chair and seated her, then moseyed back to his table. The three men with whom he was having dinner all looked at him with a startled expression. As he lifted his drink to take a sip, he said to them, “What? You’ve never seen the Heinie-Lick Maneuver before?”

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