three days after the burial of the beethoven

ON APRIL 1, 1827, three days after the burial of the great Ludwig van Beethoven in the cemetery at Währing (in northwestern Vienna, on the edge of the Vienna Woods), an ardent admirer of the maestro’s glorious music ventured to his gravesite to pay his respects. He was quite shocked when he heard what sounded like garbled music coming from within the grave.

He was even CONTINUE READING

how do you know the neighbors are having sex?

FRIENDS OF OURS and former neighbors—let’s call them Bill and Pam—have a precocious 8-year-old son named Shaun who loves root beer Popsicles. He takes his time eating them to make the flavor last as long as possible. At first, Bill and Pam found this a little annoying, because Popsicle’s melt and get messy.

But they found a way to use their son’s eating habit to

CONTINUE READING

it’s an urban myth that husbands never listen to their wives

I DON’T SPEND MUCH TIME on Facebook or the other social media platforms. I use them to call attention to my three websites (and soon to be four). Since I spend most of my time writing thises and thats for those sites, I rarely visit the Facebook pages of my Facebook friends.

Sometimes I feel guilty about this—you know, being so goram self-absorbed, seeming like I CONTINUE READING

it’s an urban myth that husbands never listen to their wives

I DON’T SPEND MUCH TIME on Facebook or the other social media platforms. I use them to call attention to my websites. Since I spend most of my time writing thises and thats for those sites, I rarely visit the Facebook pages of my Facebook friends. Sometimes I feel guilty about this—you know, being so goram self-absorbed, seeming like I never pay attention or never listen CONTINUE READING

turning 66 and meeting the trans new me

DARE I WRITE THIS? I suppose I’d best: yesterday was my 66th birthday—I’ve made it this far! This is no big deal to those who have known the West Coast version of me: staid and rather predictably unadventurous. Boring, in fact. (But considerate, no matter what my ex says!)

But to those who know only the old East Coast version of me, and remember CONTINUE READING

and here I thought I had a person of interest look


IT WAS NICE DAY, IF BRISK. Most folks were wearing sweaters or jackets. Not me: I was standing in Half-Price Books in a black long-sleeve shirt. Looking idly ahead. I had stepped aside in the aisle to allow a few customers who were entering the store to move past me.

The last customer in line was a pretty blonde. She saw me standing there, unmoving, CONTINUE READING

I live in an alternative reality where clinton won

IFEEL LIKE THE OLD MAN in Moonstruck. You know, at the end where everything is happening crazily around him and he puts his head in his hands on the kitchen table, utterly confused. This struck home for me when I opened an email from a friend with a link to an article published earlier today in The Washington Post. It was queerly titled “CONTINUE READING

phaw! on rambaldi and the unwatchable finale of “alias”

ALIAS. A super-spy/CIA adventure series for ABC that ran five seasons (2001-2006) and was nominated for more than seventy awards—although not a single important nomination was made for the final season. ALIAS made Jennifer Garner a star, for which we should all be grateful. The first few seasons were loads of fun with good scripts, good characters, and good acting. Berni and I enjoyed CONTINUE READING

a fishing expedition with a nasty dude in camelot

BEING A CREATURE OF HABIT (well, sort of) (um, not that often, really, but occasionally), I turn first to tried and true Merriam-Webster when looking up definitions for new (and sometimes old) words and phrases. It’s still one of the best online dictionary resources, even if I do find more appropriate definitions for my needs in other dictionaries. Such is the case here regarding the CONTINUE READING