THERE I WAS, sitting on the bed looking at Berni. She was at her vanity, looking at herself in the mirror. Just sort of staring, which is not something that she normally does. Since her birthday was not far off (she’s a Scorpio), I asked what she really wanted. “Eight. I’d like to be eight again,” she replied, still looking in the mirror. And I knew exactly what I should do!
So on the morning of her birthday, I got up early and made her a nice big bowl of Kellogg’s Sugar Frosted Flakes! (“Thaaaayyyy’re guurr . . . well, you know what they are.) Then I took her to the Seattle Great Wheel, a 175-foot high ferris wheel at Pier 57 on Elliott Bay.
Then we went back to Redmond and Red Robin for lunch. I had called in advance, so they served her a Chick-Chick-Chicken Fingers off the Kid’s Menu with a vanilla malted milkshake!
Then it was off to the movies to see The Peanuts Movie. Midway through I got up and came back with popcorn and soda and her favorite candy, M&M Peanuts. (Of course.)
What a day!
Finally, we wobbled home and collapsed into bed together, both exhausted. I leaned over to my beautiful wife and with a big smile asked, “Well, Pootie Pie, what was it like being eight again?”
Her eyes opened, she stared at me, and her expression changed from puzzlement to understanding. She punched me in the bicep and hissed, “I meant my dress size, you idiot!”
Jaygee’s Moral: Even when a man is listening, he’s still gonna get it wrong . . .
HEADER IMAGE: Snoopy prepared to fight the Red Baron in the new 3D and CG animated The Peanuts Movie.
Finally, for more on the truth of the (based-on-a-real-event) anecdote above, refer to “On Coming to Grips With Scorpionic Power In This Life.”