Yesterday, walking to the bus, I had a minor grammatical epiphany: Wholly Grommett came to me in the guise of the Wholly Sprite (one of the four forms He takes as the Blessed Quadrinity) and whispered to me in words not to be gainsaid;
“Mark ye me well, son of Eire! Thou shalt henceforth be respectful of the sense and sensibilities of those other than thy coarse self in the use of certain words. Believe ye me that such action shall not go unnoticed above!“
And believe you me, I knew exactly to what the Holy It referred—a certain four-letter word.
No, let us speak truth: the four-letter word: f-u-c-k!
And I have been overusing it of late—even in my posts here on nealumphred.com!
So, the new Neal is arisen: henceforth, all my “fucks” shall be written as “f*ck” and such other words that I deem likely to be deemed by those less coarsened that I to be fowl shall have an asterisk (*) substituted for the active verb in that work. (Why is the asterisk in the Ariel font five-pointed like a star instead of six-pointed like a . . . well, like an asterisk?)
As I said: “When the sprite speaks, I listen and fuck becomes f*ck.” In fact, I shall do thusly retroactively to all me posts so rendered starting hence. (This rule will not be followed when the word ‘fuck’ is being discussed etymologically, grammatically, or socially. Only when it is being used as an adjective, adverb, interjection, or otherwise four-letter-wordily!)
Finally, the image at the top of this page was lifted from the font cover of the book “Fuck, Yes!” by Reverend Wing F. Fing.
“Fuck, Yes!” is credited to Reverend Wing F. Fing, who may be a real person. Or Reverend Wing F. Fing may be a pseudonym for Tom Robbins. Or someone else. Does it matter? F*ck, no . . .