for men only (based on a true story)

Es­ti­mated reading time is 1 minute.

HEY, YOU GUYS! Do you want to know a true story—it hap­pened to me!—that tells you a sure sign that you’re growing old? Not older, but, like, old! A surer sign than those emails you re­ceived in the last decade that listed all the rea­sons why being 50 was so good?

Surer than the ones that fol­lowed ten years later that listed all the rea­sons why being 60 was so good?

Sure you do!

It’s when your wife gives you cologne for Christmas or your birthday or Valen­tine’s Day and it’s not some hot new com­bi­na­tion of  pheromones and a se­cret ex­tract of satyr musk.

In­stead, it’s Old Spice.

And you ask, “Um, honey, why Old Spice?”

And she says, “Be­cause it re­minds me of my fa­ther when I was young.”

“Uh oh,” thought I . . .

True Story: painting of a two-masted ship titled "Grand Turk" by James Hardy III.

FEATURED IMAGE: The painting at the top of this page is “Grand Turk” by James Hardy III. The Grand Turk was launched in late 1812. In late Jan­uary of 1813 she was com­mis­sioned by Pres­i­dent Madison to cruise against the en­e­mies of the United States. Ap­par­ently this two-masted Grand Turk is not the basis for the three-masted Grand Turk that is the logo of Old Spice, but I liked the painting.


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A few weeks ago, a young nurse com­plained to me that her 30th birthday was “around the corner” and she felt as if she was get­ting old. Is that a laugh or what. There­fore I must ask what is old? 

When you go to your mailbox and its filled with A.A.R.P. mail, you might be get­ting old.

When you have 5 gold teeth and wear bi­fo­cals as thick as coca cola bottle bot­toms, you might be get­ting old.

You over hear someone talking about the latest thing on Yahoo, and you think, Yea, I used to do that too.

When you go into a Mc­Don­alds or Wendys and the first thing they ask you is if you want the se­nior dis­count, you might be get­ting old.

When you catch your­self glancing at “girly” mag­a­zines” just for the ar­ti­cles and in­ter­views, you might be get­ting old. I will be 66 in April and yes, I think I’m get­ting old.

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