for men only (based on a true story)

HEY, YOU GUYS! Do you want to know a true story—it hap­pened to me!—that tells you a sure sign that you’re growing old? Not older, but, like, old! A surer sign than those emails you re­ceived in the last decade that listed all the rea­sons why being 50 was so good?

Surer than the ones that fol­lowed ten years later that listed all the rea­sons why being 60 was so good?

Sure you do!

It’s when your wife gives you cologne for Christmas or your birthday or Valentine’s Day and it’s not some hot new com­bi­na­tion of  pheromones and a se­cret ex­tract of satyr musk.

In­stead, it’s Old Spice.

And you ask, “Um, honey, why Old Spice?”

And she says, “Be­cause it re­minds me of my fa­ther when I was young.”

“Uh oh,” thought I . . .

True Story: painting of a two-masted ship titled "Grand Turk" by James Hardy III.

FEATURED IMAGE: The painting at the top of this page is “Grand Turk” by James Hardy III. The Grand Turk was launched in late 1812. In late Jan­uary of 1813 she was com­mis­sioned by Pres­i­dent Madison to cruise against the en­e­mies of the United States. Ap­par­ently this two-masted Grand Turk is not the basis for the three-masted Grand Turk that is the logo of Old Spice, but I liked the painting.


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A few weeks ago, a young nurse com­plained to me that her 30th birthday was “around the corner” and she felt as if she was get­ting old. Is that a laugh or what. There­fore I must ask what is old? 

When you go to your mailbox and its filled with A.A.R.P. mail, you might be get­ting old.

When you have 5 gold teeth and wear bi­fo­cals as thick as coca cola bottle bot­toms, you might be get­ting old.

You over hear someone talking about the latest thing on Yahoo, and you think, Yea, I used to do that too.

When you go into a Mc­Don­alds or Wendys and the first thing they ask you is if you want the se­nior dis­count, you might be get­ting old.

When you catch your­self glancing at “girly” mag­a­zines” just for the ar­ti­cles and in­ter­views, you might be get­ting old. I will be 66 in April and yes, I think I’m get­ting old.

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