HEY, YOU GUYS! Do you want to know a true story—it happened to me!—that tells you a sure sign that you’re growing old? Not older, but, like, old! A surer sign than those emails you received in the last decade that listed all the reasons why being 50 was so good?
Surer than the ones that followed ten years later that listed all the reasons why being 60 was so good?
Sure you do!
It’s when your wife gives you cologne for Christmas or your birthday or Valentine’s Day and it’s not some hot new combination of pheromones and a secret extract of satyr musk.
Instead, it’s Old Spice.
And you ask, “Um, honey, why Old Spice?”
And she says, “Because it reminds me of my father when I was young.”
“Uh oh,” thought I . . .
FEATURED IMAGE: The painting at the top of this page is “Grand Turk” by James Hardy III. The Grand Turk was launched in late 1812. In late January of 1813 she was commissioned by President Madison to cruise against the enemies of the United States. Apparently this two-masted Grand Turk is not the basis for the three-masted Grand Turk that is the logo of Old Spice, but I liked the painting.