TWENTY YEARS AGO, I was seeing a woman that I had simply gravitated to one day while sitting in a coffee shop. We hit it off immediately, having several things in common (dysfunctional relationships, kids, literature, politics). It helped that she was not only drop-dead gorgeous, but she was one of those women who walk into a room and every man there wishes his wife would disappear.
One thing that we did not have in common was astrology: she was a dues-paying member of the Washington State Astrological Association while I was a member-in-spirit of every skeptic’s organization on the planet!
My skeptic’s antennae were sensitive to any bullschidt that might be making the rounds that evening.
As one of our first dates, Sparklie (what I will refer to as to keep her secret identity secret) invited me to a meeting of her organization. This was not a few people getting together at a weekly coffee klatch at their favorite espresso bar—this get-together was attended by 200 true believers.
I have a Buddhistical acceptance of the oneness of the universe the world the void of its being interconnected interweaving that each atom affects every other atom instantaneously in some sibling way that quantum physicists can only theorize about and only Wholly Grommett groks.
Nonetheless, I do not believe in astrology nor in any other form of divination prophesy prognostication or anything that even hints in the direction of pre-destination or pre-determination.
So understand this: I was on my guard!
Let the meeting commence
After everyone was seated, invited guests like myself were asked to introduce our selves. Sparklie had prepped me, so I gave my name and birthday (both of which I had memorized by then) along with my rising sign and other pertinent astrological data.
But it boiled down to this: “Hello. My name is Neal. I’m a Virgo and my rising sign is Cancer.” 1
The attraction of the evening was a guest lecturer of some renown who spoke about astrology and history. I forget the gist of the talk but enjoyed it at the time. At its conclusion, everyone headed for refreshments and conversation.
Sparklie was the only one or thing in the room that held my attention so I didn’t mingle or even pay much attention to the rest of the attendees. So it was that I didn’t notice that most of the room had gone quiet and that people were beginning to stare at us.
I accept the oneness of the universe and its interconnectedness, that each atom affects every other atom in some sibling way that quantum physicists can only theorize about.
And the “us” was more than Sparklie and I: an older man stood nearby, politely waiting until I had stopped talking so that he could introduce himself. Unlike so many of the others there who seemed rather staid—almost yuppieish, in fact—he was dressed in a new-age-cowboy cum old-age-hippie style.
With gray hair turning white hanging free to his waist beneath a hat that was more Australian than Texan, he asked, “May I interrupt?”
Now everyone was giving all of their attention on the interaction between him and me.
“Certainly,” I responded.
He introduced himself (and we will call him “Mr. Berossus” to protect the innocent among us) followed by, “I’m sort of the guru of all these astrologers. For some reason, I can do a chart in my head as accurately as they can on a computer. I’d like to do yours.”
“Now?” I asked.
“Now,” he said.
“Certainly,” I responded.
Your goal in this life
Mr. Berossus then asked me a series of questions, beginning with where and what time I was born. It lasted several minutes and then stopped. He closed his eyes and, I assume, ratiocinated.
After which he opened his eyes, stared at me for a moment, and pronounced, “Your goal in this life is to come to grips with Scorpionic power.”
Without missing a breath I announced, “My father is a Scorpio.”
“My mother is a Scorpio.”
“My daughter is a Scorpio.”
“The mother of my daughter is a Scorpio.”
He nodded and with nary a blink of an eye responded, “Oh, my! You do have your work cut out for you …”
HEADER IMAGE: I lifted the amazingly apt photo (apt because I am—0r once was—fair-haired while Sparklie is a brunette) at the top of this page from an article titled “Scorpio and Virgo Compatibility: The Sorcerer and the Healer” on the Astromatcha website. It opens with this assessment:
“You might wonder what on earth strong, powerful Scorpio and meek, unassuming Virgo see in one another—and Scorpio and Virgo compatibility does make for an unusual couple. However, the clue to this relationship’s surprisingly high level of success is in the couple’s mythological archetypes.
The Sorcerer and the Healer are both mysterious, enigmatic beings, and they both wield magical power of one sort or another. These two have more in common than you might think, and can create an unbeatable team when they fall in love.”
Alas, Sparklie was not a Scorpio, so of course the would-be romantic relationship never really got off the ground. A short time later I met and fell in love with Berni, a woman that I would never have described as my “type” during the first forty years of my life. Needless to say, she is a Scorpio and so now there are five to come to grips with in this life. 2
Recently I came across this statement and thought that I would include it here as for those of us who are not Scorpios but know them intimately: “I see it all the time: the dead can hold a grudge better than most Scorpios.” 3
Finally, the watercolors in the body of the text above are by Gabi Xavier.
1 I am therefore “dreamy, with a psychological nature that is oriented towards nostalgia for things past, towards your mother and your family. Your instinct and your need to protect yourself from the outside world are highly developed. Your inner life is rich, with a vivid and even unlimited imagination, a propensity to avoid all risks and to pursue security. You show your true face only to persons you can trust and you need the well-being brought about by the nostalgia for the past.
With this Ascendant, you come across as emotional, sentimental, restful, sensitive, loyal, enduring, protective, vulnerable, generous, romantic, tender, poetic, paternal or maternal, dreamy, indolent, greedy and dedicated. You may also be fearful, unrealistic, evasive, passive, touchy, anxious, dependent, stubborn, lunatic, backward-looking, lazy, burdensome, impenetrable and a homebody.” (HoroscopesWithin)
Apparently, I am your average Joe Everyman, encompassing all and every aspect of the human experience. Don’t you?
2 After reading a draft of the above, Sparklie added, “You have forgotten that my north node—the karmic point in every chart—is in fact in Scorpio. It has to do with consuming love, desire, loss, death, rebirth, and transformation, as the sign is known for. It is hands down the most important point in a birth chart and shows one’s past life energies (south node) opposed to current life requirements/energies (north node).”
3 This quote about the dead and most Scorpios was made by the renowned psychic and medium Billie Dean Howard.