when the food is gone, I’m eating you first

Estimated reading time is 3 minutes.

I ASSUME THAT FACEBOOK’S EDITORS are, in fact, computer algorithms. Or, perhaps, applicants for the position have to score somewhere on the autism spectrum to be hired. Hell, maybe they just ain’t got no sense of humor! These guesses are based on the few run-ins that I have had with them and their warning messages.

Here is the latest: I found this sticker that was made by Best Buy stores twenty-four years ago. It reads: “Remember / Turn your computer off before midnight on 12/31/99.” It’s a piece of Y2K from the transition from 1999 into 2000 memorabilia. 

I wanted to address the dispatching of cannabilistic predators in the post-apocalyptic future brought upon by global climate change but Facebook wouldn’t let me!

So, I posted the image on my Facebook page with this caption: “Those were the days, my friend,” a reference to a hit record from 1968.


BestBuy Y2K sticker 600 1
This is the Best Buy Y2K warning sticker from 1999.

When the food is gone

After a few comments, a friend of mine posted a new comment: I had a Y2K T-shirt that said, ‘When the food is gone, I’m eating you first.’

I then wrote what I thought was a clever and funny response to my friend’s remark:

“Fuck the Y2K nonsense and start preparing for food shortages brought upon by global climate change! I have a deal with my older neighbors next door that when the food runs out, they are gonna act as bait and I will be in hiding. When the cannibalistic predators show up to prey upon the old and the weak, I will jump out, shoot the bastards, and then my neighbor and I will divvy up the meat.”

Within seconds, I received a warning from Facebook (of which I wish I had had the foresight to do a screenshot of it). It basically warned me that my comment broached the site’s restrictions on making threats of violence and that if I kept the comment up and running, I would face repercussions.


Eating you first: image of the Y2K cover of Time magazine from January 18, 1999.
This is the cover for the January 18, 1999, issue of Time magazine with a Christ-like figure wearing a robe and a “The End of the World!?!” sign on a crowded city street.

I’m eating you first

Being a wimp and not wanting to butt heads with the Facebook editors (which I found is futile through experience), I deleted my original “cannibal” comment and wrote a new response:

“Hah! I just wrote a hilarious response about preparing for food shortages brought upon by global climate change and immediately received a warning from Facebook suggesting that I delete it or face possible restrictions on my account.”

And balance and harmony were restored in Metaland . . . 


  Eating you first: artist's rendition of Y2K in red amid endless tremas of zeros and ones.

FEATURED IMAGE: The image at the top of this page was cropped from this image and then brightened. I found this cool image accompanying the article “What Was the Y2K Scare?” on the World Atlas website. The first paragraph of the article answers the title’s question:

“The Y2K Scare was a phenomenon at the turn of the 21st century where computer users and programmers feared that computers would stop working on December 31, 1999. The phenomenon was also referred to as the “Millennium Bug” or “Year 2000 problem” by technology experts. A lot of planning went into preparing for the ‘Millennium Bug.’ In fact, the scare led governments and private organizations to spend millions of dollars in an attempt to avert the risk.”



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