you don’t appreciate a lot of stuff until you get older

Es­ti­mated reading time is 2 min­utes.

I MAY BE GETTING UP THERE IN YEARS, but sex re­mains a topic of in­terest, both in its arousing forms an in its hu­morous forms. I was re­cently emailed a col­lec­tion of quotes about sex and mar­riage and found many of them rather fun. Some were even too ac­cu­rate, making them all fun­nier. Ap­par­ently, they have been making the rounds of the in­ternet for years.

Each quote was at­trib­uted to a celebrity, most of them movie stars of the past few decades. I looked them all up on the in­ternet and found that some at­tri­bu­tions were cor­rect, others not. I se­lected the quotes I liked the most and have posted them here:

~ ~ ~

“There are a number of me­chan­ical de­vices which in­crease sexual arousal, par­tic­u­larly in women. Chief among these is the Mercedes-Benz 380SL con­vert­ible.” – P.J. O’Rourke

“I be­lieve that sex is one of the most beau­tiful, nat­ural, whole­some things that money can buy.” – Steve Martin

“You don’t ap­pre­ciate a lot of stuff in school until you get older. Little things like being spanked every day by a middle-aged woman. Stuff you pay good money for later in life.” – Emo Philips

“It isn’t pre­mar­ital sex if you have no in­ten­tion of get­ting mar­ried.” – Drew Carey

“It’s been so long since I’ve had sex, I’ve for­gotten who ties up whom.” – Joan Rivers

“Women might be able to fake or­gasms but men can fake a whole re­la­tion­ship.” – Sharon Stone


SharonStone beach 900

FEATURED IMAGE: The photo at the top of this page is of ac­tress Sharon Stone from the ar­ticle “10 Celebri­ties Who Are Sexier Than Ever.” Au­thor Ara Rimba wrote about Stone, “She is now 58 years old but she looks even sexier than ever. Sharon does have a firm and healthy figure. She is known to prac­tice weightlifting and Taek­wondo, the Ko­rean mar­tial art. You can watch her latest work in the TV se­ries, Agent X.”

I thought I would let the inim­itable and im­mortal Oscar Wilde have the last word: “Bigamy is having one wife too many. Monogamy is the same.”



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Mr.Umphred, I have been lucky enough to have started my DJ work back in 1966 when I was 15, just starting my Sopho­more year at Ocean­side High School in Ocean­side, Cal­i­fornia, on our Top 40 Sta­tion KUDE, which when the sun went down, KCBQ and KGB in down­town San Diego had to de­crease their power so low that no one living from about Del Mar north to South Or­ange County couldn’t listen and could only pick up KHJ out of LA or our sta­tion which had a much larger playlist.

I did an “All-request Show” every week for 5 years, 3 as Ocean­side High Pi­rate Hour, and then 2 years as the Spartan Hour for our Ju­nior Col­lege, and got to play any songs that had come in within the last week or two to see which new songs would get the most re­quests and that I thought my “lis­teners,” that were mostly ju­nior high, high school and col­lege stu­dents, but re­ally mostly were the thou­sands of young 18-23-year-old young men in their Ma­rine bar­racks, on Camp Pendleton next door, each night for their 6-8 weeks of “training” be­fore they all were shipped off to Vietnam.

That’s how I talked the sta­tion ‘s Gen­eral Man­ager, Lyle Richardson, into it. The least we would could do for those young men!

Of course, during this time I col­lected a vast number of Promo LPs and 45s. Now I am using your Gold­mine 1989 “Col­lectible Record Al­bums” book which is very helpful, as I promised my wife I would mark the most valu­able ones that my 35-year-old daughter will in­herit someday. In your book, you do a great ex­pla­na­tion of The Bea­tles product which I have a very large amount of.

I am in­ter­ested in your de­scrip­tion of Bea­tles songs that no real “Stereo” ver­sions from the orig­inal Abbey Road master tapes not ex­isting. I per­son­ally have “Please Please Me,” “Love Me Do,” “PS I Love You,” and “Thank You Girl” along with True Stereo Master ver­sions of the Rolling Stones that they recorded starting at the end of ’64 through ’69’s great “Honky Tonk Women” along with CCR’s “Bad Moon Rising” with great stereo sep­a­ra­tion show­casing John’s great guitar work.

I also have from Japan, The Dave Clark Five’s hits in true stereo as the orig­inal stereo tapes were sent to Japan without Dave Clark’s ap­proval back in the ’80s when JVC made the first DC5 Greatest Hits CD. 

As a thank you for all your time and ef­fort it took to put to­gether this very valu­able book I am using, I’d love to send a couple CDs with these great ver­sions of these songs.

Sin­cerely, Bob Charles

PS: Please check out my web­site:

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