what’s long and lean and can fly but wasn’t built by boeing?

Es­ti­mated reading time is 2 min­utes.

THIS GALLERY OF PHOTOS of South­west Air­line stew­ardesses from the 1970s was in­spired by my search for an ap­pro­priate photo for my pre­vious post, “O My God­dess! Women Flying Without Men.” (Which ac­tu­ally turned up rather lean re­sults.) I de­cided on doing this gallery when I came across the Pin­terest page Flight At­ten­dant and couldn’t stop scrolling down, gawking at the photos.

Rather than tease readers into this post with a photo of a beau­tiful stew­ardess, the photo at the top of this page is of a con­tem­po­rary Boeing 737 in flight. South­west Air­lines brags of having more than 400 of these beasties in their fleet. I opted for this image over a more ap­pro­priate photo of a ’70s plane be­cause it cap­tures the look and ‘feel’ of a mas­sive ar­ti­fact taking un­nat­ural wing.


Painting of the non-lean Greek goddess Gaea by Anselm Feuerbach from 1875.

A vi­sion of Gaea by Anselm Feuer­bach, Academy of Fine Arts Vi­enna (1875).

I stress the word un­nat­ural: While sci­en­tists and en­gi­neers have long col­luded with gov­ern­ments, ed­u­ca­tion, and the media in a con­spiracy to con­vince us wage-earners that heavier-than-air flight is pos­sible, those of us with even a smidgen of Greek in our blood know the truth!

Just as we (semi) Greeks know the real uses for Windex, we know that ob­jects heavier than the air around them can only leave the earth and take flight due to the grace of Gaia (or Gaea), God­dess of Earth; con­sort of Uranus, Pontus, Aether and, Tar­tarus; and mother to Uranus, Pontus, Heca­tonchires, Nereus, Thaumus, Phorcys, Ceto, Eu­rybia, Aergia, Ty­phon, and Python (among many others).

Thank the (very, very busy) God­dess and let’s move on . . .


Photo of a beautiful Southwest Airlines stewardess with long lean legs.

This is the pic­ture that in­spired me to as­semble this gallery of photos. Why? Be­cause the look and the pose of this beau­tiful young woman re­minded me of Ann-Margret.


Photo of another beautiful Southwest Airlines stewardess with long lean legs.

Forty years ago, it ap­pears that long long long lean legs were re­quired for this job. The only reason I can think of for this de­ci­sion is that the length al­lows the stew­ardess to sway grace­fully during mo­ments of turbulence.


Photo of eight beautiful Southwest Airlines stewardesses with long lean legs.

I look at this photo and I get this odd urge to chant, “Meeska mooska, Mouseke­teer” . . . but I know that’s not right.


Photo of yet another beautiful Southwest Airlines stewardess with long lean legs.

I think I said some­thing about long leans legs, didn’t I?


Advertisement for Southwest Airlines from 1970 with three beautiful Southwest Airlines stewardess with long lean legs.

The only thing this 1979 ad­ver­tise­ment lacks is long hair with a blown-back, feath­ered style on the blonde and someone named Charlie.


Photo of two beautiful Southwest Airlines stewardesses with long lean legs.

The ’70s was a time when even men who looked like Mr. Bean had their own pair of daz­zling young stew­ardesses on every flight! Wait . . . could this be Charlie?


Photo of 22 beautiful Southwest Airlines stewardesses with long lean legs.

I look at this photo and I think I see Ja­clyn Smith, fifth from the right in the top row. Wait . . . the guy at the end—could this be Charlie?


Photo of two more beautiful Southwest Airlines stewardesses with long lean legs.

I sup­pose asking for stiletto heels would have been a wee bit impractical—and it would prob­ably have worked against the sway-factor of those long long long lean legs.


Photo of three beautiful Southwest Airlines stewardesses with long lean legs.

Wow! Look at that tail ...



 

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