how do you know the neighbors are having sex?

Es­ti­mated reading time is 1 minute.

FRIENDS OF OURS and former neigh­bors—let’s call them Bill and Pam—have a pre­co­cious 8-year-old son named Shaun who loves root beer Pop­si­cles. He takes his time eating them to make the flavor last as long as pos­sible. At first, Bill and Pam found this a little an­noying, be­cause Pop­si­cle’s melt and get messy.

But they found a way to use their son’s eating habit to their ad­van­tage: when they wanted to have an af­ter­noon quickie but Shaun was in the apart­ment, they gave him a root beer Pop­sicle and told him to go out on the bal­cony and re­port on all the neigh­bor­hood activities.

Yes­terday, while Bill and Pam were get­ting down to it, they gave Shaun a Pop­sicle and sent him out to his roost on the bal­cony. He began his re­port on what was hap­pening around him.

“There’s a car being towed from the parking lot,” he yelled.

“Good—what else?” Bill yelled back.

“An am­bu­lance just drove by,” Shaun replied, and con­tinued re­porting his observations.

“Looks like the An­der­sons have company.”

“Hey, Matt’s riding a new bike!”

“Looks like the Sanders are fi­nally moving out.”

“Oh, the Coopers are having sex!”

Star­tled, Bill and Pam looked up. Pam cau­tiously called out, “Um, Shaunie, how do you know the Coopers are having sex?”

“Be­cause Jimmy Cooper is standing on his bal­cony with a Popsicle . . .”

Neighbors: photo of a handmade root beer float popsicle.

FEATURED IMAGE: The frozen con­fec­tion above is cer­tainly not the Pop­sicle of my child­hood. That item had two parts with a tick in each, so that one Pop­sicle could be easily split in half and shared. Also, the col­oring of the classic root beer Pop­sicle was darker. But then, the con­fec­tion above is not a Pop­sicle, which is a trade­marked name. It’s a root beer float pop­sicle (note the generic low­er­case). Get the recipe HERE.


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