ConspiracyTheory chimneys 2000

what do lee harvey oswald and facebook temptresses have in common?

SCANTILY CLAD WOMEN! Gor­geous young women (and they’re al­ways young) wearing hardly any­thing at all! Where? On Face­book! They’re all over every­body’s fa­vorite so­cial media plat­form! And I reg­u­larly re­ceive in­vi­ta­tions to be­come ‘friends’ with these Face­book temptresses, these very young women wearing very little clothing.

When one re­ceives a Friend Re­quest on Face­book, it in­cludes the per­son’s Face­book ad­dress, and there­fore ac­cess to their page.

 

Are these Face­book temptresses part of a vast con­spiracy, too de­spi­cable even for Gru?

 

When I don’t know the person re­questing the friend­ship, I click on over to their page and check them out.

When the re­quest comes from a fe­male I don’t rec­og­nize, I often find my­self looking at an in­cred­ibly at­trac­tive, scantily clad, provoca­tively posed young woman, doing her best Come hither look and stance.

On Face­book.

The world’s fa­vorite so­cial media plat­form.

 

Temptresses: photo of a beautiful model in lingerie.

“Hubba hubba!” (1)

Facebook temptresses

Each of these pages looks like the person just launched their first Face­book page, as they usu­ally only have a few friends. (All male.)It also looks like one of their first urges was to ask an old hippie who looks like a pallid Papa Smurf (me) to be­friend them.

Usu­ally, there was a little back­ground in­for­ma­tion that I as­sumed was window dressing (schools at­tended, oc­cu­pa­tion, fa­vorite movies, etc.), and photos. Some­times, lots of photos.

The first few times this hap­pened (and it was sev­eral years ago), I thought the in­vites were … cute, and so I left bland mes­sages com­pli­menting the young women on their beauty and their lin­gerie col­lec­tions.

I never heard back from any of them.

(Sigh.)

 

Temptresses: photo of a beautiful model in lingerie.

“Hubba hubba!” (2)

One more thing

As time went by, the in­vi­ta­tions be­came more fre­quent, but the in­for­ma­tion on each page got scantier than the wom­en’s at­tire.

I re­ally don’t know much more about this phe­nomena. I’ve been told it’s a scam of some sorts—perhaps to get me to give a credit card number after a few min­utes of ex­changing pleas­antries.

That hasn’t hap­pened. 1

All these Face­book temptresses have one other thing in common: they all have three names—first, middle, and last. Where else is it been common to know a per­son’s middle name?

 

Temptresses: poster for the movie CONSPIRACY THEORY.

This is the poster for Con­spiracy Theory as it was used to pro­mote the movie in the­aters across the country. It’s a good poster—until you see it without text (below).

My theory is that this is a conspiracy

A fa­vorite movie of mine is Con­spiracy Theory (1997) with Mel Gibson as Jerry Fletcher, a para­noid nut-job whose ob­ses­sion with wacky con­spiracy the­o­ries has warped his per­son­ality and his life. Here are a couple of Jer­ry’s ob­ser­va­tions:

• You know what they put in the water, don’t you? Flu­o­ride. Yeah, fluoride—on the pre­text that it strengthens your teeth! That’s ridicu­lous. You know what that stuff does to you? It weakens your will, de­stroys your ca­pacity for free and cre­ative thought, and makes you a slave to the state!

 

Non-Spoiler Alert! I do not give away any­thing of the plot of Con­spiracy Theory in this ar­ticle.

 

• You ever wonder about these militia groups—survivalist-type kooks on the rightwing side? They say they’re de­fending the country from UN troops. These guys are yelling so loud, my theory is that this is a con­spiracy: they are the UN troops, and they’re in place. The in­fra­struc­ture’s ready—it’s a fait ac­compli. When the time comes, they’ll just take over and we’ll all be toast. 2

Give this to Jerry: he’s an equal-opportunity the­o­rist. He sees them on the left, he sees them on the right. 3

 

Temptresses: alternative poster for the movie CONSPIRACY THEORY without added text.

This is the the­ater poster for Con­spiracy Theory prior to any text be­side the title added to it. Vi­su­ally, this is much more ef­fec­tive than the stan­dard poster—the long shadows cast into the fore­ground give it Hitch­cockian look and feel com­pletely missing from the stan­dard poster.

Lone gunmen always have three names

Of course, at its heart, the movie is a love story: an­other of Jer­ry’s ob­ses­sions is Alice Sutton (Julia Roberts), with whom he has fallen in un­re­quited love. (And that’s about as “spoiler” as this ar­ticle will get.)

As the two char­ac­ters in­teract, they have what passes for ca­sual con­ver­sa­tion for Jerry. One goes like this:

At one point, the delu­sional Jerry ram­bles on about David Berkowitz, Ted Bundy, and Richard Speck, to which Alice asks, “What about them?”

Jerry: Se­rial killers. Se­rial killers only have two names. You ever no­tice that? But lone gunmen as­sas­sins, they al­ways have three names: John Wilkes Booth, Lee Harvey Os­wald, Mark David Chapman.

Alice: John Hinckley—he shot Reagan. He only has two names.

Jerry: Yeah, but he only just shot Reagan. Reagan didn’t die. If Reagan had died, I’m pretty sure we prob­ably would all know what John Hinck­ley’s middle name was.

 

Temptresses: photo of a beautiful model in lingerie.

“Hubba hubba!” (3)

Is Alicia Bria Umberto your real name?

Watching the movie re­cently and seeing this scene made me re­alize some­thing: all these gor­geous women with their provoca­tive Face­book pages have three names.

Al­ways!

So does that mean that all these temptresses are lone-gunmen?

Or are they part of a vast non-wing con­spiracy, with se­cret plans too de­spi­cable even for Gru?

Are the Rus­sians in­volved?

Will Robert Mueller be in­ter­ested in this after wrap­ping up the Trump/Russia shenani­gans? 4

Or is it all, like every­thing else, somehow Hillary’s fault?

Will we ever know?

(Sigh.)

 

Temptresses: photo of four smokestacks of a power facility on the East River in Queens, New York, used in the movie CONSPIRACY THEORY.

FEATURED IMAGES: The photo here are of four smoke­stacks that are promi­nent on the NYC sky­line. They are part of a power-generating fa­cility on the shore of the East River in Queens, in a neigh­bor­hood known as Ravenswood in Long Is­land City. It was the world’s largest gen­er­ating fa­cility when it went into ser­vice in 1965. The image of these ‘stacks play a promi­nent part in the movie Con­spiracy Theory.

Of course I can’t use an ac­tual photo from some­one’s Face­book page without their per­mis­sion. So, in­stead, the scantily clad, gor­geous young women on this page are models fromWhole­sale 7 (“Af­ford­able Fashion to World­wide”), a web­site ad­ver­tising lin­gerie and sleep­wear, bras and sets, and bags and ac­ces­sories.

 


FOOTNOTES:

1   What per­fect timing: I just re­ceived (Jan­uary 18, 2018) a Face­book friend­ship in­vi­ta­tion from a fe­male with three names (looks Italian) and it’s per­fect. Her Face­book page has no re­vealing text but con­sists of one photo—the beau­tiful young woman taking a selfie—plus a video of our young tentatrice clad in nothing but heels astride a willing young buck.

The video’s cap­tion reads, “come join me / hello dear / look at how nimble my sex game on your mo­bile / I hope you enjoy it.” Alas, when I clicked on the video to see how nimble her sex game was, I ended up on an error page.

(Sigh.)

2   Jer­ry’s best state­ment is, “A good con­spiracy is un­prov­able. I mean, if you can prove it, it means they screwed up some­where along the line.” Think on that for a while.

3   Gibson is a gen­uine con­spiracy buff, and for his char­acter in the movie, he mixed gen­uine the­o­ries with the sort of looney-tune ideas that made radio talk-show host Alex Jones a dar­ling of the de­mented rightwing.

4   Why hasn’t the suffix -gate been added to this sordid busi­ness? Why isn’t the media going on and on about Trump-Russiagate? (Trumpssi­a­gate? Trussi­a­gate?)

 

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As a woman, my­self and others get sim­ilar things from men. I get friend re­quests and mes­sages from strange men saying stuff like “Hey cutie” or “Hi pretty lady.” Ugh… WTF?

Out of cu­riosity I check their Face­book page and there is al­ways very little on it, some­times just a pic­ture of “someone.” Many are in a sol­diers uniform—some younger, a few older.

My friend says they are just looking for money. I can be­lieve that. They see an older di­vorced woman and think lonely easy pick­ings… NOT!

I ig­nore them but if they are per­sis­tent I block them. It is scary for women, that is why I pack some heat! Got news for you guys: the 60s are the new 40s. LOL! Your at­ten­tion is not needed, nor ap­pre­ci­ated!

It’s your pre­cious bodily fluids they are after Neal. Don’t you re­call what USAF Brigadier Gen­eral Jack Ripper was trying to tell us in Dr. Strangelove?