when the sprite speaks, I listen and “fuck” becomes “f*ck”

Es­ti­mated reading time is 1 minute.

WHILE WALKING TO THE BUS I had a minor gram­mat­ical epiphany: Wholly Grom­mett came to me in the guise of the Wholly Sprite (one of the four forms He takes as the Blessed Quadrinity) and whis­pered to me in words not to be gainsaid;

“Mark ye me well, son of Eire! Thou shalt hence­forth be re­spectful of the sense and sen­si­bil­i­ties of those other than thy coarse self in the use of cer­tain words. Be­lieve ye me that such ac­tion shall not go un­no­ticed above!”

And be­lieve you me, I knew ex­actly to what the Holy It referred—a cer­tain four-letter word.

No, let us speak truth: the four-letter word: f-u-c-k!

And I have been overusing it of late—even in my posts here on nealumphred.com!

So, the new Neal is arisen: hence­forth, all my “fucks” shall be written as “f*ck” and such other words that I deem likely to be deemed by those less coars­ened that I to be fowl shall have an as­terisk (*) sub­sti­tuted for the ac­tive verb in that work. (Why is the as­terisk in the Ariel font five-pointed like a star in­stead of six-pointed like a . . . well, like an asterisk?)

As I said: “When the sprite speaks, I listen and fuck be­comes f*ck.” In fact, I shall do thusly retroac­tively to all me posts so ren­dered starting hence. (This rule will not be fol­lowed when the word ‘fuck’ is being dis­cussed et­y­mo­log­i­cally, gram­mat­i­cally, or so­cially. Only when it is being used as an ad­jec­tive, ad­verb, in­ter­jec­tion, or oth­er­wise four-letter-wordily!)

Fi­nally, the image at the top of this page was lifted from the font cover of the book “Fuck, Yes!” by Rev­erend Wing F. Fing.


“Fuck, Yes!” is cred­ited to Rev­erend Wing F. Fing, who may be a real person. Or Rev­erend Wing F. Fing may be a pseu­donym for Tom Rob­bins. Or someone else. Does it matter? F*ck, no!




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